Suddenly Doctor thinks he can play this game in a smoother way, but I am still unsure if he truly means it or not. Maybe he isn't lying, but that tea still is making my stomach turn in a good and bad way. I couldn't refuse this one because I thought I noticed a hint of innocence in his eyes this time, so I decided the tea wouldn't be much of a danger than the other ones in case he was being serious with me that time.
He still creeps me out...
I had a rather strange dream the night before though, I felt like I was back in the body again, only my hands were around a man's neck as I strangles him. Was I wearing mittens? Anyways, in a way I felt this odd satisfaction as my unfamiliar trembling hands continued to tighten around the gasping neck of the near-to-dead body before releasing the now dead corspe. I couldn't tell if this was a dream or reality. It seemed real to me.
Other than reality-like dreams, the tea tasted better than before, it really did fill in that empty space in my stomach so I felt this warm feeling run through my veins. How I give praise to have a chance to drink something that didn't taste as bad as I thought it would be.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
The devil roams within the lake of the night sky.
I felt so insecure, I felt like something was wrong with my head. I wanted to cry, but the doctor only sat besides me. Why does he smile if his grinning mask hides such grim ideas? Yet...he holds my hand as he whispers such innocent words, to comfort, but he still scares me. I think he wants me to open up to him.
This dream I had before I woke up, almost in rivers of tears, scared me the most:
I fell into a river, yet I felt like I could breath. A boat passed through the lake of the stars, it was mid-night. I found myself flying instead, I never drowned, but floated up.
A shadow in the boat, their eyes shinning with the bleeding yellow moon above our heads.
I saw the familiar building, the one I was trapped in, but what worried me the most was the fear in the person's eyes. Suddenly, they fell off the boat as they beat their fists against their chest, I too felt that sudden stop in my chest. My heart stopped, but I was able to breath. All I could do is watch as the figure faded into the black waters, the moon burned crimson then black, outlining the rest of the stars that were hidden behind the twilight beams of the moon.
I continued to float, the devouring crunches of the water beasts ripping the limbs of the figure that continued to fade slowly in my mind, unable to see but to feel the painful tearing against my skin.
This dream I had before I woke up, almost in rivers of tears, scared me the most:
I fell into a river, yet I felt like I could breath. A boat passed through the lake of the stars, it was mid-night. I found myself flying instead, I never drowned, but floated up.
A shadow in the boat, their eyes shinning with the bleeding yellow moon above our heads.
I saw the familiar building, the one I was trapped in, but what worried me the most was the fear in the person's eyes. Suddenly, they fell off the boat as they beat their fists against their chest, I too felt that sudden stop in my chest. My heart stopped, but I was able to breath. All I could do is watch as the figure faded into the black waters, the moon burned crimson then black, outlining the rest of the stars that were hidden behind the twilight beams of the moon.
I continued to float, the devouring crunches of the water beasts ripping the limbs of the figure that continued to fade slowly in my mind, unable to see but to feel the painful tearing against my skin.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Another dream.
A continuation of the one before.
The same meadow, but this time, the sun setting. The girl from before, the one that wasn't spirited away by the faries, is alone, crying. I reach out to comfort her, and we both begin to fall through a black void.
Falling.
Falling.
F
a
l
l
i
n
g.
F
a
l
l
i
n
g
F
a
l
l
i
n
g
A sudden stop. She's no longer crying. She's just hanging there in midair, like a discarded marionette.
I begin to fall again, but this time she does not follow.
Again, I woke up screaming. The doctor was already there, ready to comfort me with another bottle of that horrendous medicine.
The same meadow, but this time, the sun setting. The girl from before, the one that wasn't spirited away by the faries, is alone, crying. I reach out to comfort her, and we both begin to fall through a black void.
Falling.
Falling.
F
a
l
l
i
n
g.
F
a
l
l
i
n
g
F
a
l
l
i
n
g
A sudden stop. She's no longer crying. She's just hanging there in midair, like a discarded marionette.
I begin to fall again, but this time she does not follow.
Again, I woke up screaming. The doctor was already there, ready to comfort me with another bottle of that horrendous medicine.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
My chest hurts...
So the 'doctor' gave me this computer that takes in online entries. He told me it is my new journal, but I refuse to give him what I own: My Diary.
He tries to get me to talk, but how do I know if I'm being recorded for every word I say? I guess I can only say things that wouldn't lead to any trouble in my case.
I still search long in these dreams, my dreams of what use to be a family. My family.
Where did it all go wrong, journal? And why is it that when ever he comes to visit me, he carries this gruesome grin. And the medicine he gives me, is it even medicine in the first place?
Only time will tell, but now all I can do is take in what he gives me in hope for an answer. Still, I wonder what he is really giving me because it hurts and gives me nightmares.
Since this is my new Dream Journal, I guess it is alright to mention what I have dreams about.
My Dream:
A green meadow, the red sun rising in the heavens. A girl hand in hand with another girl, racing down towards the forest. They both notice something, two glowing balls of two beautiful colors like that of a butterfly.
They're fairies, graceful wings fluttering as the two floated swiftly in front of one of the two. The shorter one with black hair. The other girl lets go of her hand, watching as the two fairies take either of the friend's hand, leading her away into the streets besides the grassy meadow.
Darkness, blood splatters across the ground as a scream breaks the silence before a white light clears the vision. Then...everything's black.
I had woke up screaming. Honestly, I thought I felt the sudden pain collide into my chest. I only hope I didn-- He's coming. I think this entry will have to end for now.
He tries to get me to talk, but how do I know if I'm being recorded for every word I say? I guess I can only say things that wouldn't lead to any trouble in my case.
I still search long in these dreams, my dreams of what use to be a family. My family.
Where did it all go wrong, journal? And why is it that when ever he comes to visit me, he carries this gruesome grin. And the medicine he gives me, is it even medicine in the first place?
Only time will tell, but now all I can do is take in what he gives me in hope for an answer. Still, I wonder what he is really giving me because it hurts and gives me nightmares.
Since this is my new Dream Journal, I guess it is alright to mention what I have dreams about.
My Dream:
A green meadow, the red sun rising in the heavens. A girl hand in hand with another girl, racing down towards the forest. They both notice something, two glowing balls of two beautiful colors like that of a butterfly.
They're fairies, graceful wings fluttering as the two floated swiftly in front of one of the two. The shorter one with black hair. The other girl lets go of her hand, watching as the two fairies take either of the friend's hand, leading her away into the streets besides the grassy meadow.
Darkness, blood splatters across the ground as a scream breaks the silence before a white light clears the vision. Then...everything's black.
I had woke up screaming. Honestly, I thought I felt the sudden pain collide into my chest. I only hope I didn-- He's coming. I think this entry will have to end for now.
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